Don't Bake Me Home

Football.

You run up and down a pitch. Someone might kick you.

But, like riding a motorbike through a flaming hoop, some things are more interesting when they’re being done by someone else.

I confess that I have never watched a game of football. I don’t know the rules. I don’t know the words to Three Lions. I don’t know how long a game is or when the big important matches are. I can’t name anyone who’s played it since I stopped getting the Beano in 2006.

But, thanks to Guild Of Dough, I do know about bread.

And, no matter what colour shirt you wear, who you’re supporting, or what kind of pint you buy to celebrate / commiserate (delete as appropriate), we all love a sandwich. So, to celebrate those taking part in the quarter finals*, let’s break some metaphorical bread and dive into the culinary traditions of the countries taking part.

Bring your own butter.

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Argentina: Pan De Miga

Vos tenes más fiesta que un sándwich de miga.

‘you go to more parties than a crumb sandwich.’

Literally meaning ‘crumb bread’, pan de miga is a soft, white, Pullman-style loaf with the crusts removed. It’s used to make sándwiches de miga, which are multi-layered sandwiches similar to an Italian tramezzino. Like a cheese and pineapple hedgehog in England, these sandwiches are most commonly served at every party in Argentina. Fill them with cold cuts, sliced cheese, salads, asparagus - just don’t forget the mayonnaise.

Belgium: Kramiek

If a Belgian bun and a farmhouse loaf fell in love, got married, and had little rolls, they’d grow up to be Kramiek. This enriched dough is packed with raisins and is sold as a traditional round brioche loaf. Historically, this bread was traditionally eaten on high holidays, like Christmas, saints days, and Epiphany, but today you’ll find it in bakeries from Bruges to Liège. Spread it thickly with salted butter and good jam, or chocolate cream. Feeling indulgent? Hop over the border into northern France and pair it with some local foie gras.

England: Roll

Roll. Breadcake. Stottie. Batch. Teacake. Barmcake. Muffin. Bap. Cob. Barm. Scuffler. Bun. What you call them depends on where you’re from, your social class, and even your age. They’re most commonly used as the base for a bacon butty, but why stop there? Stuff them with chips, a good cheese and pickle, some local ham and hard-boiled eggs - or take a leaf from the North and make yourself a Wigan kebab. If you’re looking for the full authentic experience, serve it with pea wet.

France: Baguette

There are several theories to the origin of the baguette, from a quicker baking time meaning that bakers didn’t have to get up so early to Napoleon making his soldiers keep them in their trousers. Whatever the origin, there are few stereotypes more conflated with France, outside of berets, garlic, and bad pop music. Baguette sizes vary from the 100g ficelle to the 500g flûte, and recipes range from the baguette tradition to the sweeter viennois to the nutty baguette aux graines. If you’re looking for a variation on the classic that’s just perfect for sharing, pick up an épi - shaped like an ear of wheat, each section breaks off to give everyone their own miniature baguette.

Morocco: Khobz

Manage with bread and butter until God sends honey.

Moroccan proverb

Khobz is ubiquitous in Morocco. It’s a round, flattish loaf, never more than an inch high, but its thickness varies from bakery to bakery and household to household. It’s available from local shops and bakeries, but many families still prefer to bake their own khobz at the local furan. Khobz can be cut into wedges and packed with grilled meat, but it’s most commonly used as a replacement for cutlery. Strapped for cash? One khobz can be used in place of one dirham - unofficially, of course.

Norway: Flatbrød

Flatbrød has been eaten for centuries and dates back to the Vikings. Less of a bread and more of a cracker, it was historically eaten by the working classes because its low water content mean that it was easy to keep - traditionally, communal baking would happen twice a year to make enough flatbrød to store and eat over the coming months. To make flatbrød, barley flour is mixed with water and salt, then rolled out thinly and fried until hard. Pair it with fish, with soup, with jam - or, for an authentic Norwegian experience, serve it alongside a steaming bowl of lapskaus.

Spain: Coca

No, not the soda - the word coca actually comes from the same Dutch root word as the English ‘cake’ and the German ‘Kuchen’. Coca was historically a way of using up dough that wouldn’t rise by topping it with whatever was on hand, similar to the French pissaladière. Today, coca can be sweet or savoury, from the coca de llardons from the mountains to the marzipan-filled coca de reis that’s served on Epiphany. Similar to the galette des rois, if you get the king in the coca de reis, you get to wear a crown and boss people around - but if you get the bean, you have to buy the next coca!

Switzerland: Zopf

This challah-lookalike is an enriched braided loaf that’s commonly eaten on Sunday mornings. Whether it’s known as Zopf, Tresse, or Treccia, each of its regional names means pigtail or braid. Zopf could only be baked twice a year until 1629, when Bernese bakers petitioned the government to be allowed to bake it outside of New Year’s and St Thomas’ Day. Fancy buying a loaf for yourself? You might get more than you bargained for - in some areas of Switzerland, it’s available by the metre.